c o l l i s i o n b e n d . c o m

Cleveland, you gotta’ be kiddin’ me.

I pass this amazing piece of crap twice a day, every morning and every evening, and I’m always amazed that it exists.

How long are you going to sit passively in your cars and pass this wretched hulk day after day? Take a good look, Cleveland, because this is the real face of our city:

A real beauty, right?

The city could probably take this building by Eminent Domain, and for a song. The only problem is that this hulk has been sitting on this spot, just like this, for years: open, broken windows, open doors — the works. It’s probably going to cost a fortune to clean the hazardous waste out of this building.

What? Hazardous waste? What hazardous waste? In an empty building?

You bet: just about every bird living within 10 miles of the city has to know that this nice, little shelter is here waiting for them in bad weather. Just about every rat the size of Shamu does, too. And every stray dog, too. What about snakes? We have them in this region of Ohio. And I’ll bet there’s more bird shit and rat shit in there than Exxon has oil.

THAT hazardous waste. (It’s time to call in Mike Rowe for another episode of “Dirty Jobs.”)

The land could be worth a fortune — if it were habitable, which it’s not. Not by a long shot. You could build something very nice here: a housing complex, perhaps, or an aquarium, maybe, or an office building, possibly. Gee: maybe even — dare I say it — a casino? Not that I’m for having one in Cleveland, but if we did have one, this would be an excellent location…

The possibilities are endless for a property with an outstanding lake view like this.

But instead, we have this hulk just sitting here, taking up space, rotting from the inside out and the outside in, housing all sorts of vermin, rodentia, and the like. Just a thought: if mosquitoes are breeding there, and they are breeding in water polluted with rabid or diseased animal waste, you have to wonder what kind of diseases they carry with them — and what they can infect us with.

Our priorities are elsewhere: a convention center, a medical mart… not that these things are unimportant — they certainly are important — but you can’t forget about severe rot like this. Not in an area so visible.

So, Cleveland, there you have it: your fair city. This is the face of Cleveland, Ohio, like it or not: this is what every visitor to this city sees every time they go down to Progressive Field, or Cleveland Browns Stadium, or the Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame, or one of those supposed conventions our politicians want so badly that we never seem to be able to attract.

They blame the lack of hotel space (ironically — and laughably — this is an abandoned Howard Johnson Hotel!) for the lack of conventions here. Yeah, right. If you were hosting a convention, and you had a choice between just about any other American city — and this dung heap — what would you choose?

I’ve been meaning to get down there with my real camera and take some better photos; I just might tomorrow morning, if the weather holds. I will post more photos here as I take them, believe me.

I read a lot. I mean a LOT. (People, please take note: it’s “a lot” — not “alot,” OK?)

Lately, however, I have been just about tattooed to my computer, either at home or at work, and I haven’t had much time to go book shopping.

I love reading, especially books: there’s a touch, a feel, that you get with books that you’ll never get with a digital copy — I love the weight of a book, the resistance the binding gives you as you hold it open, the feel of a page as you turn it, the feel of the irregular edges of the pages as they rest while closed — all of the common, relaxing, tactile sensations one feels reading a book.

It’s why I think eBooks, while a great idea (and audio books, for that matter, but to a lesser degree), will never take the place of the bound paper book. eBooks have their place, and can be valuable to someone like me — busy, on the go, with limited time to shop (even on Amazon.com) — and their presence on the market is a godsend.

To this extent, there are a few notable solutions for this, namely Amazon.com’s Kindle,a $399 portable handheld book reader with EVDO (cell phone-style) wireless access and the ability to hold over 200 titles in storage. It’s portable at 7.5″ x 5.3″ and 3/4″ thick — easily carried in a briefcase or purse, and it only weighs 10 ounces.

Sweet device, eh? It gets better, and I think it’s probably the best bet for portable eBooks — you don’t need a computer to sync it with — the included power adapter and USB 2.0 cable are there for charging, not synchronization.

Have a computer, and a more limited budget, then reading on the computer might be more your style: eBooks are available for several platforms: Microsoft Reader, Mobipocket, and Adobe.

Mobipocket is great if you use a Blackberry or the like, but not if you want to use your computer — and it doesn’t support all mobile devices (forget it, iPhone users!). It would leave me out, too, as a Verizon Wireless customer: Verizon is renowned for its de-balling of its electronic equipment. Utility is not one of Verizon’s calling cards.

Microsoft is… well… Microsoft: they think they are the only computer company worth anything on the planet. Wrong, they are, as we all know. But, as they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink, right? After 20 years of using Microsoft products, I would still like to know what flavor Kool-Aid they drank…

Then Sony has the eBook Reader , a $299, 9-ounce version like the Amazon unit that can hold around 160 eBooks in internal memory, and a lot more with an extra memory card like you use in your digital camera. Probably the most versatile eBook reader, it’s 1/3 of an inch thick, and can also access other types of documents, like PDFs, Microsoft Word documents, and more.

I’d like to get the Sony PRS505, but there is only one small drawback to this unit: it only works with Windows XP, XP Media Edition, or Vista. And we all know what a bomb Vista has been, right?

One noticeable drawback — no support for someone who, let’s say, might use a different Operating System… like… well… Mac OS X? This unit must sync with a computer, and Sony has been too lazy to include the entire world — as if Mac users didn’t read.

Thanks a lot Sony: you have made me realize that you are trying very hard to live up to your acronym: Sales ONlY.

And then there’s the software-based option I didn’t list above, Adobe Digital Reader, a free eBook reader available from Adobe that will read PDF-based or XHTML-based (web page-based) documents. It’s supposed to be cross-platform, but: it doesn’t work in OS X 10.5 Leopard.

It’s been this way since Leopard came out, which has been almost a full year now. Adobe is officially the last major company that has failed to support Leopard for one of their projects. Maybe they don’t see the importance, or the urgency, but they have failed to come up with a solution, leaving Mac users out in La-La-Land.

Do Mac users not read? Are Mac users considered illiterate? Why are we not supported? Are we not an important part of the technology market? Let’s define EPIC FAIL, shall we?

It will be a great day when computer people start realizing that other people make choices, and they may not the the same choices they make for themselves, and they have the same responsibility for access for all — just as architects and building owners and store owners and the like have to allow access for all to their facilities.

It will be a great day when we realize that for a similar as we all are, we are all still different: we make different choices, sometimes based on how we live or how we think, other times based on how we have to live or think, and sometimes based on how we want to live or think.

It’s time we started thinking about others, especially when we start thinking about how cool our creations are instead of how many can actually use it.

By now, I can assume that you have been able to dig yourselves out of the snow and actually get around our fair city.

For some of us, that process took longer than others.

I got home Friday night around 7:30, and it was just in time: I took my lunch leftovers and the daily mail inside, dropped it on the kitchen counter, then slid into the bathroom to do something… well, if you can imagine that it took me almost 90 minutes to drive home, you can imagine what I had to do in there.

Afterward, I went outside to have a cigarette, and I saw the first of what was to become a long list of cars to get stuck in front of my home over the weekend. I lost count around 18 or 20, most of which were 4-wheel drive trucks with snow plows, or Jeeps, but there were a couple of cars and minivans — and one of the latter got stuck right at the end of my driveway sometime late Saturday morning.

By that time, we had at least 16 inches of snow in the street, and it was still coming down — hard. (When all was said and done, we ended up with 28 - 30 inches of snow in the street, drifting to 4 or 5 feet in some places just off-road.)

The lady who owned the minivan abandoned her vehicle with the intent of returning to get it out. She tried later, only to get her Jeep stuck before she arrived at her minivan.

What really got to me was what happened Sunday morning: a city snow plow, trying to get around Ms. Had-no-business-being-out-in-the-worst-snowstorm-in-Cleveland-history’s minivan, got stuck in the very same place many other vehicles found them selves in the hours earlier.

I woke up just in time to take these videos (I apologize for the sharpness — I woke up just seconds before, grabbed the camera, and began shooting; the fuzziness is the window screen):

Turn the volume up and you can hear my bride and I talking about what a good job these guys were (and have been) doing — and they have.

I mean, let’s face it: the heavy snow wasn’t hardly their fault. Nor was the fact that their jobs were made infinitely more difficult by the bozos who felt that they were such good drivers, and their cars were so great in the snow, that they could get through anything.

For that, the proof is in the pudding, as they say:

In this second video, you can hear me say, “oh, please hit that minivan — please hit that minivan!” I was saying this because the person that left their minivan there had absolutely no business being on the road on Saturday — for whatever reason. And their lack of consideration for themselves or others resulted in many more individuals getting stuck in the same place — and to preventing the plows from cleaning our street when all of the others in the neighborhood had been cleared at least twice.

We were stuck in our house until 5:00 p.m. Sunday, unable to go for groceries or other goods when others had been out for hours — thanks to this person’s stupidity.

I took the video because you never see snow plows getting stuck — or pulled out of such a situation; I posted the videos because people need to see what a lack of thought and consideration can do to inconvenience others (and I’m not just talking about me).

Next time they say to stay off the roads unless it’s an absolute emergency — stay off the roads.

UPDATE — My video has been picked up by The News-Herald.

OK, here’s the scene: we’re coming home from dinner at Applebee’s in Mayfield. We have an iPod (not mine) hooked up to the USB port connected to the car stereo, and the car is equipped with Microsoft Sync. This is exactly how this conversation went down, word-for-word, verbatim:

• Car: Ding! “USB: Please say a command.”
• “Play artist Duran Duran.”
• Car: “Playing artist Carrie Underwood.”
• Car: Ding! “USB: Please say a command.”
• (More clearly and deliberately) “Play artist Dur-RAN.”
• Car: “Playing artist Barry Manilow.”
• Car: Ding! “USB: Please say a command.”
• “Play artist Go f*** yourself!”
• Car: “Playing artist the Arkies” (the Archies)
• Car: Ding! “USB: Please say a command.”
• “Play artist Billy Joel.”
• Car: “Playing artist Billy Joel.”

Interestingly enough, the Billy Joel tune the car decided to play was “Innocent Man.”

Needless to say, I’m reprogramming my bride’s iPod.

~~~~~~~~~~

Now, this is the conversation I imagine having if we had connected my iPod:

• Car: Ding! “USB: Please say a command.”
• “Play artist Eric Clapton.”
• Car: “Playing artist Eric Clapton.”
• Car: “NOW you’re talking! Clapton is GOD!”

~~~~~~~~~~

And while I’m on the topic of Applebee’s: I was always raised to take my hat off when I entered a public building — it was something that a gentleman always did, as a matter of politeness, good manners, and common courtesy.

Tonight, I watched at least 5 grown men, sitting at tables, dining, wearing hats. One even wore a hoodie over his baseball cap, as if he was trying not to be seen, drinking a bottle of beer (not a glass).

Where have our manners gone?

~~~~~~~~~~

Of course, one of them who was not handicapped in the least — nor was anyone in his party — had parked his brand-spanking-new Cadillac Esaclade in the handicapped spot right out front. They all jumped into the car — not one struggled. Not one looked the least bit guilty about it, either.

Yes, he had a placard hanging from the mirror, but I’m wondering: how much did he pay for it?

Right about when I thought I had seen just about everything…

I was searching USENET (the link is there for those of you who are unaware of part of the Internet’s history — or just what USENET is).

I found this special interest group, whose title is somewhat self-explanatory:

alt.sex.beastiality.with.chickens.whilst.wearing.rubber.knickers

And here I thought I knew just about everything.