c o l l i s i o n b e n d . c o m

I read a lot. I mean a LOT. (People, please take note: it’s “a lot” — not “alot,” OK?)

Lately, however, I have been just about tattooed to my computer, either at home or at work, and I haven’t had much time to go book shopping.

I love reading, especially books: there’s a touch, a feel, that you get with books that you’ll never get with a digital copy — I love the weight of a book, the resistance the binding gives you as you hold it open, the feel of a page as you turn it, the feel of the irregular edges of the pages as they rest while closed — all of the common, relaxing, tactile sensations one feels reading a book.

It’s why I think eBooks, while a great idea (and audio books, for that matter, but to a lesser degree), will never take the place of the bound paper book. eBooks have their place, and can be valuable to someone like me — busy, on the go, with limited time to shop (even on Amazon.com) — and their presence on the market is a godsend.

To this extent, there are a few notable solutions for this, namely Amazon.com’s Kindle,a $399 portable handheld book reader with EVDO (cell phone-style) wireless access and the ability to hold over 200 titles in storage. It’s portable at 7.5″ x 5.3″ and 3/4″ thick — easily carried in a briefcase or purse, and it only weighs 10 ounces.

Sweet device, eh? It gets better, and I think it’s probably the best bet for portable eBooks — you don’t need a computer to sync it with — the included power adapter and USB 2.0 cable are there for charging, not synchronization.

Have a computer, and a more limited budget, then reading on the computer might be more your style: eBooks are available for several platforms: Microsoft Reader, Mobipocket, and Adobe.

Mobipocket is great if you use a Blackberry or the like, but not if you want to use your computer — and it doesn’t support all mobile devices (forget it, iPhone users!). It would leave me out, too, as a Verizon Wireless customer: Verizon is renowned for its de-balling of its electronic equipment. Utility is not one of Verizon’s calling cards.

Microsoft is… well… Microsoft: they think they are the only computer company worth anything on the planet. Wrong, they are, as we all know. But, as they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink, right? After 20 years of using Microsoft products, I would still like to know what flavor Kool-Aid they drank…

Then Sony has the eBook Reader , a $299, 9-ounce version like the Amazon unit that can hold around 160 eBooks in internal memory, and a lot more with an extra memory card like you use in your digital camera. Probably the most versatile eBook reader, it’s 1/3 of an inch thick, and can also access other types of documents, like PDFs, Microsoft Word documents, and more.

I’d like to get the Sony PRS505, but there is only one small drawback to this unit: it only works with Windows XP, XP Media Edition, or Vista. And we all know what a bomb Vista has been, right?

One noticeable drawback — no support for someone who, let’s say, might use a different Operating System… like… well… Mac OS X? This unit must sync with a computer, and Sony has been too lazy to include the entire world — as if Mac users didn’t read.

Thanks a lot Sony: you have made me realize that you are trying very hard to live up to your acronym: Sales ONlY.

And then there’s the software-based option I didn’t list above, Adobe Digital Reader, a free eBook reader available from Adobe that will read PDF-based or XHTML-based (web page-based) documents. It’s supposed to be cross-platform, but: it doesn’t work in OS X 10.5 Leopard.

It’s been this way since Leopard came out, which has been almost a full year now. Adobe is officially the last major company that has failed to support Leopard for one of their projects. Maybe they don’t see the importance, or the urgency, but they have failed to come up with a solution, leaving Mac users out in La-La-Land.

Do Mac users not read? Are Mac users considered illiterate? Why are we not supported? Are we not an important part of the technology market? Let’s define EPIC FAIL, shall we?

It will be a great day when computer people start realizing that other people make choices, and they may not the the same choices they make for themselves, and they have the same responsibility for access for all — just as architects and building owners and store owners and the like have to allow access for all to their facilities.

It will be a great day when we realize that for a similar as we all are, we are all still different: we make different choices, sometimes based on how we live or how we think, other times based on how we have to live or think, and sometimes based on how we want to live or think.

It’s time we started thinking about others, especially when we start thinking about how cool our creations are instead of how many can actually use it.

…and it has been rough, let me tell you. I got a lot done, though, but if you look at the SPAM emails I received in the last 24 hours, you’d think I haven’t done enough.

To wit:

“Tracey Teague” thinks I am in search of a university diploma. I am not, thank you very much. I have more of a college education that she’ll ever have — and probably more than most people. Try me on this one…

“Monty Shaffer” says I can increase my… erm… you-know-what size by 3″ by using his patented technique. You really sure I’m that self-conscious about how big I am down there? In a day and age where people use plastic surgery, pills, and just about anything else to enhance their looks, you might think I might be interested. But I’m afraid not, pally: I’m fine just as I am, no more, no less. In fact, I’m probably better endowed than you are.

That’s not saying much, I know, as I’m not all that big (it’s pretty dinky, if you ask me — with the emphasis on “pretty”), but when you get into the territory that these guys are talking about, there’s only one way a guy goes, and I don’t go that route: uh uh, sorry Jack. Even a less-experienced woman knows that it ain’t the size of the gun, it’s the motion of the ocean. The only people who care about the size of that body part are guys that are… well… “a wee bit lavender,” (not that there’s anything wrong with that!) if you know what I mean…

“Euro Software” thinks I can speak German… ‘fraid not, pal, sorry.

“Stuart Page” wants to sell me a watch. Well, maybe not a real watch, but a “repl1ca w4tch.” I guess it’s a real replica of a replica watch. Something. I really don’t know, but I really don’t care, either; I no longer wear a watch: I can’t, as it prevents me from reaching all of the keys on my computer keyboard, which is essential to any Web-based job…

So, now, “Stuart” didn’t get the gist of my non-reply, so “Howie” thought he’d try as well. Sorry, still not biting…

Now here’s something I can really use: “Sylvester Walden” wants to sell me Viagra for US$1.41/pill, or Cialis for US$2.22/pill. Hmmm… that’s only slightly more expensive than my insurance company can get me those same pills, and I can get that prescription from my doctor with a simple phone call and have that prescription filled within an hour — let’s face it: at my “advanced” age, we’ve discussed it. I’m OK so far, so I think I’ll pass… for now…

“Hazel Dernovsek” wants to sell me bling. Not just any bling, mind you, but “fantastic bling of all sorts.” God knows I haven’t enough bling, so I gotta buy more, right? It’s really too bad I’m not into bling of any sort, let alone fantastic bling…

“Lori Hunter” just wants to say ‘Hi!’ I wonder what she wants… maybe I could take my accounts offline and open the email just to take a peek. It’s probably a call to another Web site that is going to either fill my screen with porn, or try to reset my Internet Explorer settings so that all I can ever see is their porn site.

It’s really too bad I use a Mac, isn’t it? Assholes.

Now “Lavern Guy” wants to sell me “waterproof replica watches,” as if I still hadn’t quite made up my mind. Hate to tell him (maybe it’s a “her”?) what I didn’t tell the other guy…

And then there are those idiots that send email in foreign languages, using Cyrillic or Asian typefaces. Sorry, but I am at a loss with this one. I’m an American. My family has been in this country for almost 400 years. REPEAT: 400 YEARS. English is my primary language, even though I have a German last name.

I sport the “Standard Midwestern American English Accent” so treasured by US broadcasters that in college I was trained in public speaking without my consent (I have a good speaking voice, so they made it an educational requirement by decree — they could do those things back in the 70s), so that I might have a future as a broadcaster one day. Little did they (or I) know at the time… ;-)

But, I digress.

So why send me a sales message in a language I can neither understand nor comprehend, let alone read? Cheap broadcast is one thing, but Common Sense is another.

But… wait a minute… we’re talking about spammers here… Common Sense is certainly NOT one of a spammer’s essential core qualities…

Silly me.

Whoa, relief…

I was just able to relieve myself from a difficult client’s expectations and go to another project at work this week. The initial client is a bit, shall we say, persnickety; everything has to be absolute letter-perfect, pixel-perfect, etc., all the way down the line.

Print stylesheets? Perfection need only apply. (What? We have lousy print CSS support across browsers? The Hell, you say!)

We have a bug tracker, of course, and I have been free for a couple of days now — that is, of course, if you ignore the client’s bug reports issued today, which were really a series of change requests…

All that aside, it was a pleasure for me to move from one challenging site to another, internal, site that is probably more like moving from the frying pan into the fire than it is moving from one difficult situation to an easier one.

Seriously.

But what I was able to do, this week, was to leverage some recent learning into the internal client’s site that saved me time, countless hours figuring out stuff, and plenty of headaches.

I used jQuery, my new heartthrob.

My superiors are impressed, and so am I — and the best is yet to come, as I have more wrinkles to expose in this project: the sky is my limit!

So I just got home, after numerous hours at the agency this week, slaving away, and I come home feeling… well… tired, yes, but…

…damned good.

It’s a feeling of accomplishment, but better: it’s knowing that I stretched myself to create something that should be; something that belongs where it is as it is. It’s a feeling that I created something that simply deserves to be. Something right.

It’s rare, because it’s a feeling that I did it.

It’s a good feeling, too: and I want more.

Twelve days into 2008 and I have written absolutely nothing.

Shame on me. Other than having a lot going on, both personally and professionally, I just haven’t had the time to sit down and keep Dear Constant Reader (that would be you) posted on the goings-on and what-not.

Issue #1 for me is that I’m terribly busy at work. A couple of clients are keeping me going, and I find myself doing more and more each day — which is a good thing for me professionally, but it’s bad for me here.

Issue #2, if you are aware of what I’m facing, has also been an issue, what with doctor’s appointments and such. Wednesday is D-Day; for those of you who don’t know about this, I’ll write more later this week.

Issue #3 is (well, was) the Bucks in the NCAA National Championship Game this week.

<rant>Let’s face it: the Bucks had no business being there; had there been a playoff system, they wouldn’t have made it to the final game.

I’m not dissin’ da’ Boys, nor giving up on them: I’m just being blunt — and honest. I’m proud to say that I went to The Ohio State University (I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything!), and I’m proud to be a dedicated Buckeye fan: I fly a black Block-O flag on the house on game day; I wear Scarlet & Gray on Fridays; this is the first year I haven’t redesigned my Web site for Michigan week (I got half-way there, OK? Time-Warner scotched that idea when they busted negotiations with the Big Ten Network — I would have been home redesigning for the game that day); I have ‘colors’ hanging in my cube at work.

Hell, even my last three cars have been some combination of Scarlet & Gray!

So I’m not saying that the Buckeyes are a bad team, or that Jim Tressel is a bad coach — far from it. This was a rebuilding reload year for OSU; nobody, at the beginning of this season, even expected the Bucks to so well in the Big Ten, much less play for the National title.

So winning the Big Ten, beating Michigan (yet again), being in the NCAA Top 10 — all of this is a testament to the quality of Jim Tressel’s coaching and recruiting abilities. He is, most likely, the best (or one of the best) head coaches in NCAA football: in a reload year, they didn’t win the Big Game, so quit your whining. Just being there was the feat-and-a-half; let that be the end of that discussion, OK?</rant>

So what’s on tap for 2008 at the Bend?

Wednesday. Getting through Wednesday. Say a prayer, OK? Thanks in advance.

Golf lessons. Yes, you read that right, golf lessons. I always wanted to learn how to play the game, and the bride has made the same desire known, so we’re going to do it. I’ll keep you posted; I’m sure there will be a new category in the old blog soon.

Speaking of the old blog (it’ll be 4 years old this April), it’s getting a redesign — actually two designs, both versions of the same theme, and it’ll have a better focus on usability and accessibility, more up-to-date code, upgraded WordPress, a couple of new wrinkles, etc. Look for it in about a month or two. It’s cool, if I do say so myself.

I’m having thoughts about returning to my dojo, although he is in Akron, so I’m not sure how that will work out. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have any teaching students in the Cleveland area anymore, so if I return to him, I’ll have to drive a long way. Yeeesh!

I’m probably going to write more about the Web and designing/developing for the Web than I have in the past; I’m doing more — and making more and more “Command Decisions” every day for clients — as my experience and scope both grow, my comments will as well, I’m sure. I’ve noted too much lately that I could — and probably should — comment on, both good and not-so-good, and some points cry out to be made, and it surprises me that none of the big dogs out there have said anything about some of it.

I’m going to bring back the Recto-Cranial Invert of the Month Award (non Web design-oriented, thank you). Every month, on the last day of the month, I’ll give the Award to the person (or persons) most deserving of being honored for their absolute brainlessness. Kind of like a “News of the Weird,” or “Knuckleheads in the News.” Who knows? I might even open it up to voting, if I can polish my PHP skills enough…

So 2008 will be for me a year of refocus, redesign, redevelopment (both personal and professional), and re-application.

Let’s hope I can get through at least half of it.

Just about anyone who works on the Web has heard, at one time or another, Microsoft Internet Explorer referred to as “Internet Exploiter,” or “Internet Exploder.”

I, myself, am quite fond of the latter term — especially at work, where Internet Explorer versions 6 and 7 take up about half of my coding time — doing exactly as I call it: it explodes the Internet on-screen.

It drives me nuts.

Every once in a while, however, Firefox will chuck a wobbly, too — as it did for us this afternoon: we ran into an issue on a site with a special CSS print style sheet, and if you printed from Firefox with the option selected to print background images, Firefox would promptly crash every time.

Not good, Maynard.

(A minor change in the print style sheet corrected the issue, thank you very much.)

The funny part of the story happened while three of us were in a brief, impromptu conference about this bug: one of them inadvertently referred to Firefox as “Fire Escape.”

It’s the new joke in the office.